hi everyone. i took an ADHD medication that freezer had (go figure why she had that) and here's a summary of how i feel:
• my subconscious has zero control over me. i usually don't do things because i subconsciously fear that it'll harm me in some way, but like, i was listening to music and when my mum came in i DIDNT have the urge to pause it.
• that includes the urge to lie btw it's a bad habit and i usually only do it with my parents but it's such a habit because i think i fear that if i tell the truth the outcome will be less desirable, even if it isn't
• mum if you're reading this don't take it personally i quite like you (and the guy ur with i guess...)
• haven't really felt like eating. i wouldn't say it's a loss of appetite as the medication says, it's more because if i'm eating then i'm not doing what i need to do today (see previous microblog post)
• thank god for no character limit on this thing
• slightly fear i'm gonna realise a contrast in productivity with and without the meds, and it'll result in me disliking my unmedicated self
• sent a LOT of messages to freezer. like a LOT. i hope it's not too much. it's probably not she'll probably have time to read them on work break so it's chill. i just have so many things to say and i still have more to say
• i've been doing everything so efficiently (minus the time im spending to write this, oops). like usually i need to do something for an hour and then have at least 30 minutes break time but like, i almost want to do more things
• me wanting to do things i think is because for once im not subconsciously worried about an end goal or the fact that what im doing can be done later. if you can do something then just get it out of the way yk?
• even if i can't do everything i want im still happy with the fact i tried and i had fun doing everything
if i keep typing more things to talk about i'll probably expand the page width to that of a whale